So thought this might be of interest to some of you.  It is a video which was shown at Flood San Diego [I think this past sunday night], a church service in Southern Cal.

Some of you of the True North variety, the YWAM performing arts kiddies, musician types, and anyone who likes little shorts may want to check it out.  I really like the song that was used behind the footage.    Just thought it was a cool vibe.  Do as you wish.

Breathe Me

So yes I'm on spring break and I feel like I have so much to do - which I do but only some of it consists of actual schoolwork.  I've decided that I need to become better at all the stuff I do, but do poorly [ i.e. play guitar, code html, shoot/edit video, increase general bible knowledge...].  So part of this week so far has been devoted to improving the above along with other hang out activities. 

YES that does include going to a Superchick Columbia/Sony label showcase show at the Bowery Ballroom.  And yes I still feel like a man.  The sound was killer and although I can't really sing along to the lyrics..haha..I was glad that some of us decided to make the trek out to lower manhattan.  First time in the Bowery and I really like it as a venue.

dan lang.  spring break: cancun on long island, since 1982

Who's more embarrassed here?

It's odd what day after day of traveling on the subway will do for you. 

Ok, just today I got on the 2 going uptown and there was a lady in there that well......she smelled....err pretty bad...ok really bad.  Let's say bad enough that another woman walked in front of me through to the next subway car saying "I can't take it, she smells so bad".  Plus a bunch of people (who decided to stick it out from 34th to 96th street) had their scarves, jackets, etc. pulled up over their mouths and noses.  Honestly it would have been funny, even now it’s kinda humorous, but at the time it was an awkward embarrassing feeling.

A few days ago there was another "awkward" moment when a young guy dropped by the friendly 1 train uptown to 116th.  As soon as the subway door swung open there was that ok here it comes feeling.  Like clockwork the guy looks around stumbles with the shaking of the car and begins.  "Excuse me ...blah blah... name is Philip... blah.....homeless....some other stuff.....and I have a problem."  "I'm hiv positive and" .... I really don't remember what he said directly after that, (something about needing housing) because as soon as that came out the life was sucked out the car.  Literally.  It instantly became all the more awkward when a lady who was sitting near him straight looks at him grabs her (rather large) bag and gets up walks to the end of the car and stands holding her bag glaring.  Apparently people don't know as much about medicine as one would have thought.

            In both times it is really hard to determine who is more embarrassed here?  Is it really them.  I mean there really isn't any pride there.  No pretenses.  I on the other hand pull that "let me look away because if I don't see you then you don't exist" body language.  This seems to be the motto of the city, ‘you’re only worth the space you take up’.  If I don’t see you in my line of sight then you pretty much don’t exist; unless of course I happen to bump into you and get forced to acknowledge your existence on the planet.  It's clear that it is uncomfortable but I've come to the realization that it's probably me that's more uncomfortable than ‘them’.  

Which is funny because I don't have anything to be ashamed of.  Or maybe I do.  Could my uncomfortableness be caused by my shame over lack of desire to help or care?  Why is it that you (I, but I assume we’ve all done it) avoid any eye contact walking around the streets. 

Is it scary somehow that you might see some hurt, some ache, of which you simply don't want to deal with.

Is it too much effort to even let these visual enter into my head? 

I guess the problem is not having them come in but rather trying to get them to leave. 

Smokescreens can only get you so far.  Even playing the ‘they are druggies’ card is a thin veil over the underlying reservations to think.

            It’s a lot to think about.  And maybe that’s what needed, some actual real life honest thoughts.  Most times it’s easy to hide behind your J.Crew sweaters and new Anathallo CD on your mp3 player (ok this one is really just me) but I’m feeling like it’s probably not the best thing.  Not all thoughts are created equal.  Sometimes it’s worth it to think through the tougher ones.
 

dan lang.  what the heck?!?!  since 1982

•   The quasi dancy beat.


• The reference of a non-descript "she" along with a reference to her
  "bleeding" (although not for the attention - as if there were
  ever another reason to bleed on a ballroom floor).


• The rhyming of two words which sounds instantly poetic
  yet is incomprehensible in its meaning in relation to the song
  as a whole [Have some composure, where is your posture?]
  
  
• Let's not forget, no song can be confused as emo
  without a reference to the timeless "pulling the trigger" line.
    Ah, sweet scene goodness.


• Talking about the male species as boys in another must have. Check.
  
  
• The repitition of a phrase repeatedly with one word
  change [gimme envy, gimme malice, gimme your
  attention, gimme envy, gimme malice, baby
  gimme a break], yet another check off my list.


• Last but not least, the fact that I defy anyone
  to figure out what the song in totality actually means.